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- Relationships
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Many
couples believe living together will give them a
test run at marriage. Some consider it a less
constricting alternative to tying the knot.
Others don't want to be alone.
Choose to make a
lasting commitment. Saying no to sex is not
easy, especially when you are physically
attracted to someone and honestly care about
them. However, a lasting relationship is not
based on sex alone. In fact, premarital sex
might even destroy an existing relationship. Say
no to sex in a positive and loving way that will
help build a lasting commitment. Here are a few
suggestions on how to say no:
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"Everyone is
having sex but us."
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Response: "I
don't want to be like everyone else. Our
relationship is special, not like the others
which are based soley on sex."
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"If you love me
so much, then prove it."
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Response: "I do
love you. If you honestly love me, you wouldn't
ask me to prove anything, but just accept me as
I am."
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"We both love
each other, so who will be hurt if we have sex?"
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Response: "Of
course we love each other now, but what if we
break up? It's not fair to ourselves or to the
persons whom we eventually marry."
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"Don't worry, you
won't get pregnant."
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Response: "I
really love you, but I just don't feel it's
right to have sex before we are married. Please
understand and respect my decision."
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Frequently Asked Questions and Answers
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Q: Can't we see
how we'll get along when we're married by living
together?
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A: As it turns
out, living together undermines both partners'
attitudes toward the one thing that ultimately
keeps couples together--commitment. Instead of
sticking it out through arguments and tough
times, couples who move in often give up and
move out. Commitment, as evidenced by marriage,
is much more likely to endure through the tough
times.
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Q: Why is moving
in together a bad thing if we're commited to
each other?
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A: Commitment is
more than just sharing living space. It is a
deep and lasting bond that says "no matter what,
I'm sticking with you." If you truly are
committed to each other for the long haul, why
wouldn't you make it official"? What's holding
you or your partner back? Those who are really
committed are willing to show it by going for
that piece of paper.
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Q: Why do unmarried couples seem happier, why
do I want to feel tied down and unhappy?
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A: While it is
true that some married couples don't live in
bliss, it's also true that couples who live
together are, on average, far less happy than
married couples. In fact, studies even show that
married couples have fewer disagreements than
couples who live together.
Studies also show that, overall, marriage
relationships are far more fulfilling - sexually
and otherwise - than those between live-ins.
Despite what you hear on TV, married couples are
the most physically and emotionally satisfied
with their sex lives.
The marriage commitment results in a more
complete and unreserved giving of oneself by
both partners. Marriage offers better physical
and emotional fulfillment
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